Most of us are afraid of death, and it’s a theme that’s worth thinking about. Why is it that we fear death if people who have been through NDE (near death experiences) tell us that death and everything about it is beautiful and whole?

In Bronnie Ware’s book, “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying,” we see that the number one regret that people have is living without being their authentic self. We’ve lived and we continue to live in accordance to other people’s expectations of us. We are afraid of being us, for fear of being mocked, for fear of disappointing others, for fear of what we might lose if we became and shone as our true selves. As Anita Moorjani says it, we prefer to be the doormat for others to step on, rather than live our lives the way we want to live. And for her, as she found out, continual living in fear was the reason why she had the cancer which consumed her, whilst the realisation of it was the miracle that saved her.

So why do we continue to live in fear? The answer is simple: it’s because of our subconscious programming since we were very young. It’s because we were not taught to think about what we want, nor to go for what we want. It’s because weren’t taught about persistence, and we give up at the first sign of an obstacle, believing that we cannot do it. We were never taught how to conquer our obstacles, or why these obstacles came in our way. We were programmed to look for the negative aspects to challenges in our lives, and because we don’t think about our subconscious programming, we don’t know how to change that. It becomes an endless cycle of struggle and we continue to live in fear all our lives for fear of what may go wrong.

Your experiences in life is what makes you unique. Just as each brushstroke on a canvas forms the overall theme of a picture, so, too, do the experiences in your life form the person whom you are today. Yet, most of us forget that we are the ones holding the paintbrush. We forget that we are the ones responsible for picking the colours for the picture that we paint. There is no point in re-creating another person’s painting, particularly if we don’t know what compelled the artist to do what he/she did!

And so it is with your life. All your experiences are yours, to help grow and expand you in your own little way. As you continue to make choices by painting your canvas, you should always remember that you have the choice to paint your own picture, not what someone else expects you to paint. After all, isn’t your life your very own canvas? Your very own painting of your life that you can be proud of?

You are in control of your life. And you should never forget who your true self is.